Together, we built a dream castle
Our bare hands, carved each layer
We poured our souls into the foundation
So that it would stand the test of time, I remembered that day
I whispered - He is mine
The sun’s shine was striking across your face,
And I traced a heart into the sand
You eyes, my mind, our memories
You were my emotional escape; my fate, my dear
Is romantically etched in those iron gates –
When I’m running, you’re chasing me - the pursuit is our passion
When I’m sad, you’re asking me - why you feel the pain
When you start, I’m finishing your sentences… this is bliss
I know nothing but this kind of wish
You can’t sleep, the night is full and the moon is deep
I’m driving away, charging far from you
I can’t believe that you and I could have gotten this way
We used to pray,
We used to smile, I loved your eyes
Now they stare blankly at me,
I turn left and see you on my right
You come crashing back into my light
My shining Knight, My Lion, the King of my life
You don’t want to tell me that your heart is restless
And that this is hard for you. But you’ve been
Nothing but my fantasy ride
And that now you’re afraid of not knowing a life
Without my love,
You say - What is the price I’ll take?
What is it that I want? You’re so confused
You need to relax and take your time,
Remember what I’ve said, and those cries I’ve cried
I wanted you devoted to no one but me,
You found a diamond but you just don’t let it leave
Just like water to a tree
I need you to cultivate and nourish
Love and encourage
Support and Protect
Disregard my errors and defects
I need you to want me because I’m not perfect.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
"My Existence"
My heart is bruised and on Fire
I’m broken and tired, confused about my current state
Lost in some ways,
Some days are just days
Passing me by, I’m slowly passing away
They tell me “Why do you complain?”
Just deal with it, it’s not that bad
But they don’t understand
What it takes to be me,
They don’t know my pain
The long suffering and loneliness
Truthfully - I’m afraid
I have no one to turn to
No voice to respond to
No arms to run to
No shoulders for my tears to cry on
Where do I fit in? Where is my help? Where do I belong?
I’ve prayed until my pillows became soaked with agony
I’ve asked my father for help, to comfort me
I’m going through the darkness but not without a fight
But is there no escape?
Only do they want me, is when I’m healthy
Or when I’m pretty, when I have money
This isn’t about a man, this is about time.
This isn’t about love, this is about acceptance.
This isn’t about a harvest, this is about forgiveness
This is about the truth, this is about my existence
I’m broken and tired, confused about my current state
Lost in some ways,
Some days are just days
Passing me by, I’m slowly passing away
They tell me “Why do you complain?”
Just deal with it, it’s not that bad
But they don’t understand
What it takes to be me,
They don’t know my pain
The long suffering and loneliness
Truthfully - I’m afraid
I have no one to turn to
No voice to respond to
No arms to run to
No shoulders for my tears to cry on
Where do I fit in? Where is my help? Where do I belong?
I’ve prayed until my pillows became soaked with agony
I’ve asked my father for help, to comfort me
I’m going through the darkness but not without a fight
But is there no escape?
Only do they want me, is when I’m healthy
Or when I’m pretty, when I have money
This isn’t about a man, this is about time.
This isn’t about love, this is about acceptance.
This isn’t about a harvest, this is about forgiveness
This is about the truth, this is about my existence
Monday, August 16, 2010
ANTI-LOVE
I know why you fear the silence. I know why you take the long road home. Why you suffer when others are laughing. The pressure’s surmounted – ready to explode but you feel like you’ve already burned to ashes. You have nothing to give, nothing to lose.
You’re crawling your way out, for something no man, no woman can give you - _ _ _ _ _
And you’ve been doing this for years.
But soon things will change and you won’t be the same. I promise you, you’ll fly one day – AWAY from here forever. I promise you, I’ll be right there with you. We’ll be untouchable, together.
I may not be your soul mate but I’ll be your hero. We’ll run the FINISH LINE…and I’ll carry your torch. You don’t have to love me. You don’t have to call me. You don’t have to lie to me. You just have to TRUST ME.
My dreams are YOURS. Your GOALs are mine. However, my wings are on lease. And the engine is running. You don’t have to be PERFECT. I accept you the way you are.
You can sing your SILLY SONGS and I’ll run behind you. You can cry yourself to sleep and I’ll come find you. I’ll kiss you on the cheek and pack your lunch with cookies. I won’t even ask for much. Only that you take me WITH YOU.
I’ll be your ANTI LOVE.
You’re crawling your way out, for something no man, no woman can give you - _ _ _ _ _
And you’ve been doing this for years.
But soon things will change and you won’t be the same. I promise you, you’ll fly one day – AWAY from here forever. I promise you, I’ll be right there with you. We’ll be untouchable, together.
I may not be your soul mate but I’ll be your hero. We’ll run the FINISH LINE…and I’ll carry your torch. You don’t have to love me. You don’t have to call me. You don’t have to lie to me. You just have to TRUST ME.
My dreams are YOURS. Your GOALs are mine. However, my wings are on lease. And the engine is running. You don’t have to be PERFECT. I accept you the way you are.
You can sing your SILLY SONGS and I’ll run behind you. You can cry yourself to sleep and I’ll come find you. I’ll kiss you on the cheek and pack your lunch with cookies. I won’t even ask for much. Only that you take me WITH YOU.
I’ll be your ANTI LOVE.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Spring Summer !!
Its that time again, time to clean out all the old cluttering mess, recycle unwanted clothing and shoes, and sell and donate things to the goodwill :).
For Spring I see yellows, navy stripes, and wedged sandals...
For Summer, much of the same with whites and pales blues. More to come :o)
For Spring I see yellows, navy stripes, and wedged sandals...
For Summer, much of the same with whites and pales blues. More to come :o)
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Eve's Night
Winding down, coming from my mother's house. She is the sweetness that my soul is attached to - totally unselfish and graceful.
I hope you spend time with loved ones this season, that is truly the most important element - more than anything material.
I hope you spend time with loved ones this season, that is truly the most important element - more than anything material.
From my first unpublished novel "Altairis"
Beginning...
When you’d left, the trees shifted their path and the leaves began to gather. The streams froze over, the grass withered, like my heart which is now beating a slow pulse -- frigid and isolated from time.
Memories of you pierce my thoughts, like a sharp double edged sword, pricking me like a row of thorny rose bushes…how long would I have to endure the pain?
I take in a deep slow breath of the autumn’s air, breezing through the forest with the coldness under my feet. The welled up tears in my eyes are too heavy to fall, my face is solid and tortured. I am beginning to envy the dead, because they at least, are able to sleep.
This is what life is like without you.
The day is winding down. The sky is going from a warm burnt orange fire to a soft grayish purple hue. However my face, my eyes, my mouth are still stone cold. My lips are a pale bluish tint and my eyes onyx. There is clearly a contradiction here. I look down to catch a single petal drifting along…but my icy fingers have destroyed its delicateness. My piercing stare striking away at the creatures in the valley, they are fearful in their approach.
I can see… I am lethal to what’s around me and dangerous to the unprotected. I am utterly alone – because in this condition I am harmful, poisonous.
This is what I’ve become.
When you’d left, the trees shifted their path and the leaves began to gather. The streams froze over, the grass withered, like my heart which is now beating a slow pulse -- frigid and isolated from time.
Memories of you pierce my thoughts, like a sharp double edged sword, pricking me like a row of thorny rose bushes…how long would I have to endure the pain?
I take in a deep slow breath of the autumn’s air, breezing through the forest with the coldness under my feet. The welled up tears in my eyes are too heavy to fall, my face is solid and tortured. I am beginning to envy the dead, because they at least, are able to sleep.
This is what life is like without you.
The day is winding down. The sky is going from a warm burnt orange fire to a soft grayish purple hue. However my face, my eyes, my mouth are still stone cold. My lips are a pale bluish tint and my eyes onyx. There is clearly a contradiction here. I look down to catch a single petal drifting along…but my icy fingers have destroyed its delicateness. My piercing stare striking away at the creatures in the valley, they are fearful in their approach.
I can see… I am lethal to what’s around me and dangerous to the unprotected. I am utterly alone – because in this condition I am harmful, poisonous.
This is what I’ve become.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Christmas
Did you get everything you wanted to get for Christmas? Yes, I am saying Merry Christmas because its what it is. And also any other Holidays you may celebrate, just say them. Forget Happy Holidays.
All I really want is for my family to be happy and healthy. And whatever God has saved for me. I'm thankful for being able to pay my bills, have a job, a car, and breathe. Apart from that there's still one thing I'm praying for.
The book is coming along, I have written about 13 chapters. There's a lot of moving parts and I have been stalling. But it was a lifetime personal goal I had made for years now. I just never thought it would be coming into fruition. I'll post an excerpt on Christmas.
The makeup is still there, the passion still lives but I need inspiration to move forward. I'm have been a little uninspired from being in this environment. But I know it will pick up again soon.
All I really want is for my family to be happy and healthy. And whatever God has saved for me. I'm thankful for being able to pay my bills, have a job, a car, and breathe. Apart from that there's still one thing I'm praying for.
The book is coming along, I have written about 13 chapters. There's a lot of moving parts and I have been stalling. But it was a lifetime personal goal I had made for years now. I just never thought it would be coming into fruition. I'll post an excerpt on Christmas.
The makeup is still there, the passion still lives but I need inspiration to move forward. I'm have been a little uninspired from being in this environment. But I know it will pick up again soon.
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