Winding down, coming from my mother's house. She is the sweetness that my soul is attached to - totally unselfish and graceful.
I hope you spend time with loved ones this season, that is truly the most important element - more than anything material.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
From my first unpublished novel "Altairis"
Beginning...
When you’d left, the trees shifted their path and the leaves began to gather. The streams froze over, the grass withered, like my heart which is now beating a slow pulse -- frigid and isolated from time.
Memories of you pierce my thoughts, like a sharp double edged sword, pricking me like a row of thorny rose bushes…how long would I have to endure the pain?
I take in a deep slow breath of the autumn’s air, breezing through the forest with the coldness under my feet. The welled up tears in my eyes are too heavy to fall, my face is solid and tortured. I am beginning to envy the dead, because they at least, are able to sleep.
This is what life is like without you.
The day is winding down. The sky is going from a warm burnt orange fire to a soft grayish purple hue. However my face, my eyes, my mouth are still stone cold. My lips are a pale bluish tint and my eyes onyx. There is clearly a contradiction here. I look down to catch a single petal drifting along…but my icy fingers have destroyed its delicateness. My piercing stare striking away at the creatures in the valley, they are fearful in their approach.
I can see… I am lethal to what’s around me and dangerous to the unprotected. I am utterly alone – because in this condition I am harmful, poisonous.
This is what I’ve become.
When you’d left, the trees shifted their path and the leaves began to gather. The streams froze over, the grass withered, like my heart which is now beating a slow pulse -- frigid and isolated from time.
Memories of you pierce my thoughts, like a sharp double edged sword, pricking me like a row of thorny rose bushes…how long would I have to endure the pain?
I take in a deep slow breath of the autumn’s air, breezing through the forest with the coldness under my feet. The welled up tears in my eyes are too heavy to fall, my face is solid and tortured. I am beginning to envy the dead, because they at least, are able to sleep.
This is what life is like without you.
The day is winding down. The sky is going from a warm burnt orange fire to a soft grayish purple hue. However my face, my eyes, my mouth are still stone cold. My lips are a pale bluish tint and my eyes onyx. There is clearly a contradiction here. I look down to catch a single petal drifting along…but my icy fingers have destroyed its delicateness. My piercing stare striking away at the creatures in the valley, they are fearful in their approach.
I can see… I am lethal to what’s around me and dangerous to the unprotected. I am utterly alone – because in this condition I am harmful, poisonous.
This is what I’ve become.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Christmas
Did you get everything you wanted to get for Christmas? Yes, I am saying Merry Christmas because its what it is. And also any other Holidays you may celebrate, just say them. Forget Happy Holidays.
All I really want is for my family to be happy and healthy. And whatever God has saved for me. I'm thankful for being able to pay my bills, have a job, a car, and breathe. Apart from that there's still one thing I'm praying for.
The book is coming along, I have written about 13 chapters. There's a lot of moving parts and I have been stalling. But it was a lifetime personal goal I had made for years now. I just never thought it would be coming into fruition. I'll post an excerpt on Christmas.
The makeup is still there, the passion still lives but I need inspiration to move forward. I'm have been a little uninspired from being in this environment. But I know it will pick up again soon.
All I really want is for my family to be happy and healthy. And whatever God has saved for me. I'm thankful for being able to pay my bills, have a job, a car, and breathe. Apart from that there's still one thing I'm praying for.
The book is coming along, I have written about 13 chapters. There's a lot of moving parts and I have been stalling. But it was a lifetime personal goal I had made for years now. I just never thought it would be coming into fruition. I'll post an excerpt on Christmas.
The makeup is still there, the passion still lives but I need inspiration to move forward. I'm have been a little uninspired from being in this environment. But I know it will pick up again soon.
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